Have an ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE!

Just to go along with my change your attitude post earlier. Here is where I keep getting my "have an attitude of gratitude" shenanigans from! I is truly life changing!

Be the change you want to see.

Are you who you want to be?

I want you to ask yourself this. It doesn't matter who you are. ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE? Some of you will hesitantly say yes but some of you know who have found this post know that you're not and you're using Google probably as a source of self help. Nobody can help you quite like you can help yourself simply because you know what you need more than anybody out there. You know what will make you happy with yourself better than ANYBODY! 

We as humans tend to over complicate things that are meant to be simple. You want to be healthier? Take steps of progression toward whatever it is that is making you unhealthy. Granted some things can't just be fixed but you have to do the work it takes to get there. Am I right or am I right? You will never get anywhere with a "I'm stuck like this attitude". It took time to get there and it will take time to get out of there.

Change your attitude!

I cannot write about this enough. Change your attitude. Your attitude is LITERALLY everything! It will make you or break you. Even if you have to fake it at first. When I was first in therapy she gave me something to say to myself every morning before I left for school and it said, "I am beautiful. I am smart. I know who I am and nothing can change that." I had a really hard time telling myself these things at first because I didn't believe them about myself but overtime the words would pop into my head and I started to see what I was saying as a true fact! We are all these things in our own individual ways! 

Another thing I want to see more of in your attitude is a whole heck of a lot of gratitude. Appreciate all the little things you have even if you don't don't see it as a lot because I guarantee there is somebody out there who would kill for what you have. If you can't appreciate the little things then how are you going to appreciate the relationships you have with people who love you and if you're like me the religious beliefs you have. You may appreciate them but not like you will if you can just take a second out of your day to be thankful for your food, water, and shelter.

I used to date this guy who always saw his problems as like the end of the world. He ended up breaking it off with me but then he felt sorry for himself. What? How does that make any sense? Then he texts me a month later telling me about his relationship problems and me trying to be nice listened to him and tried to help him but eventually I just said, "You need to change your attitude" and so that's what I'm saying to you.

Change your attitude! Change it now! 

Who am I?

My name isn't important but the stories and lessons I have to tell are. I may be young but let me tell you I have lived a lot of life and I have lots more to live! I look at my life as an opportunity not to be taken lightly but to be embraced for all it has to offer! I want to make a difference and a difference I will make. I aspire to be a Physicians Assistant and to one day own my own charity that will help third world countries get clinics up and running for their community. BUT I also really like to write. I can only hope that my findings and observations will help somebody out there be a better and feel better about themselves. So, with that being said let me introduce you to my past.

We'll skip the being born but let me just tell you I was a beautiful baby. We'll start with middle school. When I was 12 I found out that I had irreversible problems with my kidneys that would eventually lead to dialysis or a transplant. I saw this as a huge flaw in myself that I thought everyone around me could see. Strike 1. Then, they put me on this awful steroid to try and help called "prednisone" that made this poor little middle school girl who just wanted to fit in gain 70 pounds in two months. I was fat! I had a very poor self image that led to very poor decisions a little later in my life. I was teased relentlessly and bullied all the way through my 8th grade year. Can you imagine being the victim of bullying and nobody knowing why you were the way you were? If you are or were ever a bully please make amends with your victims. Please. I finally finished middle school and said, "No more!"

Finally! High school! New opportunities to make new friends? Not so much. we sometimes forget that we are still growing up with the same people it's just a different school. The school doesn't change the people. I made a decision a very important decision to become more confident but I went about it all wrong. Some people think that showing skin is a sign of confidence but in fact it is just the opposite. It's a sign of insecurities and the need to be accepted by putting forth your sexuality. Ladies, this is all wrong. Reserve your sexuality and make somebody love you because of you! I wish I had told myself this when I was 14. I gave it up. When I say gave it up I mean by my junior year I was drinking and partying with unsuspecting men who had no idea that I was as young as I was. I could have bee hurt or killed by putting myself in these situations and my parents would have had no idea where to look because they had no idea what was going on. I was a whore by definition and what I thought was "happy" but I would soon find out all that was a lie.

CAUGHT! The mortification you feel when you know they know what you've been doing or some of what you've been doing but enough to make you realize you need help. You never see how you hurt the people who love you most until it's right in front of you staring at you in the face crying and telling you how "disappointed they are". They will blame themselves. Have you ever broken your fathers heart? Do it once and you'll never do it again. Never do it, and you'll be the luckiest woman alive. Have him say the words, "You've broken my heart" and then start to cry and leave because he can't even look at you is enough to make Satan himself repent. I knew I needed help. I needed to change everything I was doing. I needed to look at my life and evaluate who I was as a person and if I was truly happy. Was I happy?

No. Upon further self evaluation I wasn't happy. I was miserable and I was miserable because I didn't like who I was. A few days later I was sitting in a therapy session spilling my guts asking for help. I will never forget what she said to me, "You can be anybody you want to be but you have to work for it." You have to work for it! Instantly, everything began to make sense! I could change and I could be happy but I needed to be who I wanted to see myself as! I wanted to be healthy, happy, loved, and someone that people could flock to for advice! I wanted to be my own person! I got into better shape. I earned my parents trust back which believe me was no easy task but it's not meant to be easy. I changed my attitude about life and about what it meant to "fit in". I decided fitting in wasn't worth it and I felt bad for all those girls who thought that it was everything. If only their parents cared enough to tell them how life really is.

Best part was I got a kidney transplant from my loving and wonderful father who is like a superhero to me. I am finally able to progress and move forward in my life with great goals in mind. Going through all these things has made me realize some things though.

1. Somebody always has it worse than you.
2. Give back what you have been given. 
3. Don't rely on other peoples opinions to formulate your own about yourself. In the end the only opinion that matters is your own.
4. You can change what you want about yourself you just have to be willing to do it.

Whew! Sorry, that was so long! I just hope that you as a parent will be able to use these tools to help your daughters or you as a daughter will recognize that it's okay to ask for help. It saves you a whole lot of trouble. Best wishes :)